Kids. They are such a joy. You never think you can do enough for them. What's the most loving thing you can do for your toddler. Well, if you're us, you strap her in a car seat, put the DVD player on a drive her three hours and forty-five minutes away to Columbus Ohio.
We had always wanted to "test" how our daughter would do on a long trip and let me be the first to say...........not good. A 2 1/2 year old's patience is about as thin as the reasons we went to war in Iraq,...yeah, that's right, I said it! About an hour and a half into the drive we started getting warning moans, which we know always preceed a full blown cry.
We got to the zoo later than expected and it was SUPER SUPER hot. The Columbus Zoo is a fantastic zoo and is home to Jungle Jack Hanna, a frequent Tonight Show and Letterman guest. One of my goals is to get to the Bronx Zoo some day. It's ranked in the top 10 on just about anything you read about zoos. At the Columbus Zoo just the parking lot alone is enormous and it has an adjacent water park. Our daughter is too young for that now, but maybe soon. Anyway, so we had to leave early because she was fading fast due to the heat so we headed to our hotel room.
Typically, on the way over she fell asleep in the car (thank you air conditioning). We thought, no biggee, just carry her up to the room. WRONG!! She normally will fall asleep and when you carry her, she'll peak out of one eye...see that she's home, and fall right back to sleep. This time she did that and of course, she saw a hotel hallway, an elevator...nope, this kid was awake now and hyper. I'll never get this kid. When she's tired, I guess to keep herself awake, she is in a word, manic. She bounces off the walls. So that's what we had to deal with in trying to get her back to sleep on the giant king sized bed that she wanted to bounce on.
So, she of course didn't sleep so now what do we do. Well, I knew we weren't going to get her to go back to sleep so we went to the mall nearby. After that, I decided to take her swimming. Two things you have to know here. Number one, I don't swim and being 2 1/2, neither does she. But I figured she'd have a blast if I held her in the 3 foot section.
To say that she had a blast is an understatement. In her short time on this earth, I've never seen her that happy. I wish I could say the same for me. I hate having my shirt off. Saying I am out of shape is somehow (in my mind) implying I was ever IN shape. I haven't been. Well, maybe when I was a baby. When me and everyone around me was short, pale, and pudgy. But that's it.
My wife was taking pictures of us having fun in the hotel pool. I severly cropped myself out of them before I uploaded them for family. In one shot I can see my enormous back fat. With my back fat meeting at my spine, it appears that I in fact have an enormous ass crack that goes nearly up to my neck. This saved us money the rest of the trip because I tried my best to cut back on what I ate. That is AFTER I saw the pictures. Staying for free (used Marriott points) we took advantage of that and ordered room service which TOTALLY kicked ass. And worth all the money too. If I sound like I'm complaining, well, I am maybe a little. But I wouldn't trade this past weekend with my family for anything.
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