Ever have a pleasant uninvited guest? I guess putting the word "uninvited" has so many negative conotations you probably haven't. Well I did. I had 5 very large guests this evening.
My neighborhood isn't at all different from planned communities you see everywhere. A yard just big enough that mowing it with one of those electric mowers wouldn't make sense. I have a small yard in front and a decent sized area in back and the kicker here is for the story, my yard ends in a very thick wooded area.
After work tonight I decided to do something productive and clean out my car so I left it out on the driveway. Normally I am not productive in the evening and on days like last Friday, I drown my sorrows in a Jack and Coke, or as I like to call it "Pain go bye-bye juice".
So I'm out in my driveway pulling Wendy's rappers and Kleenex (the title of my last album) out of my car when I suddenly hear a leaf crack behind me. I check quickly to make sure my "Sounds Of Nature" CD is out of my car stereo (BTW - if you ever need to grab a couple quick Z's at a stop light - BUY IT!) and I turn around to see three deer not 15 feet away from me in my yard eating my crab apples. I freeze. VERY slowly, I back up against my car and face them resting my butt against the car for support. All of a sudden, three deer turn into five. At this point I am just in total disbeleif at what I'm seeing. There's about three fawns and two adults and one of them is pretty big and eyeing me up flintching at any move I make.
Not like I'd ever have an opportunity to take a picture but it's just KILLING me that I can't take their picture. This is the one time I didn't have my cell phone camera with me. So there I stood, motionless........leaning against my car just watching these peaceful creatures eat the fallen crab apples. It's about then I try to test my psychic abilities to get my wife to look out the window. No dice. What struck me as amazing was these deer, again, not 15 feet away from me just stared at me and looked at the ground too as if to say "Sooooo......we cool?".
This whole event lasted a good ten minutes with the adults bolting first and the younger deer sticking around (kids!...Pfffft!, right?). So I go back in the house, my hands almost shaking from being that close to so many.........the theme from Born Free playing in my head.......then it hits me. Those are the bastards that have been clearing out my bird feed every night!! "I HOPE YOU GET THE SHITS FROM THOSE YOU SEED STEALING ASSHOLES!!!".
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