Walking on the South Side today and two CMU students approach me and ask me to be in a video. Okay, I got time. They ask me to put on a stove pipe hat and pretend to be Andrew Carnegie. I haven't done standup in a long time and these kids probably didn't know they were asking someone who's done comedy to volunteer so I was going to give them a show.
Then it occurred to me. There's been a LOT of CMU folks who've gone on to do big things like Rob Marshall (directed the movie Chicago), Steven Bochco (Hill Street Blues), Holly Hunter, Ted Danson and a bunch others. I flashed ahead 20 years and saw the highlight reel to these kids lives and didn't want their American Film Institute award to be preceeded by a showcase of their earlier work, like "Schmuck Who Thinks He's Andrew Carnegie". "Yes honey, that's when Daddy helped out a few CMU hippies and later went home praying the prop stove-pipe hat they gave him didn't give his hair lice from whatever acid induced Dead head wore it before him". So I bailed on them.
Lastly, I'm nobody's monkey. I do comedy when "I" want to.