Thursday, June 16, 2011

Need new glasses

Took my little girl to one of the TWO FRIGGIN REHEARSALS for her recital yesterday morning and as she's leaving the stage she's handed a sheet that shows the classes for the upcoming year.

Looking over it I read "Jazz dancing....tap....ballet....Zumba....guitar lessons....wait,...Adult Marital Arts??? WHAT THE......!!!"

Are they insane? Marital Arts>??? Really! When the kids leave is that just a big giant brothel in there? So I underline it and write "WTF!!!!" next to it and leave it for my wife to get a laugh. Now i'm SURE I don't want us going to this place again.

Later that night she's looking at it and i'm SHOCKED she's not as blown away as I am. I'm like "LOOK!! Marital arts!! What the fuck is that???"

She proceeds to roll with laughter and nearly falls off her chair. For the class I read as "Marital Arts" was indeed.....i'm sure you know by now....."Martial Arts".

As Gilda Radner's character Emily Latella would have said "Oh....never mind".

Saturday, June 4, 2011

3 Wishes

I've been to Kennywood quite a few times and at least once a year with my daughter Meghan. In all those years I never knew that Kennywood had a wishing well.

So on our way out, Meghan decided she wanted to make a wish or two so I gave her a few pennies.

As she tossed the first one in she broke her promise to keep the wish secret. She said "I wished my Mommy would be with me always". Awe, how nice.

So, she has a penny left and I'm waiting for me to get the same wish. So she tosses it in and I say "Meghan, what did you wish for?".

She turns to me and says "A unicorn!".

WHAT?!?!? No no no....I gave her more change. I could just feel the Karma coming down on me. No no, she HAS to wish the same for me.

"Come on Meggie....wish the same for Daddy too". She took the dime (I upped it from a penny) and tosssed it into the well and said "I wish my Daddy.....". "Yeah yeah....go on". "I wish my Daddy had a unicorn!".

Next time she wants a toy, I'm telling her to ask her unicorn.