"Miracle Whip...Miracle Whip...". I repeated this to myself over and over again as I had the most MONUMENTAL of brain farts. Where is it in the store? See, I don't use it so there's no familiarity there but I have heard of it and seen it, .....where? My wife asked me to pick it up. As I strolled down the dairy aisle I see several "whips". I see Ready Whip and Cool Whip.....in an ordered and well meaning society, shouldn't ALL the "whips" be together?
"Okay I give up, where is it?" I ask my wife on the cell phone. "In the condiment aisle...near the dressings". Sure enough, there it was.
When I become President, I pledge a uniform and orderly grocery store with aisles like "round things" and "stuff you eat when there's nothing around to make a sandwich with" and "stuff I eat when there's a game on" and the ever popular "frozen crap that's NOT ice cream". Finally, a grocery store with not a HINT of a man on a cell phone begging for help from his wife.